FREEDOM! VIVE LA LIBERTE!

sexyhalibut — Fri, 04 May 2007 16:32:24 +0000

OK, So I’m moving off of WordPress.com, because I like custom themes and I like JavaScript.

Please go visit me at http;//www.sexyhalibut.com

Because Vandals Like Tetris, Too

sexyhalibut — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 08:02:15 +0000

catchy catchy new song

sexyhalibut — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 04:16:07 +0000

i just can’t stop singing along…

AAAA, BO! BOEY GINJA!

My newest (and currently only) piercing

sexyhalibut — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 01:37:15 +0000

I would kill myself

sexyhalibut — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 03:21:57 +0000

Andy Samberg is hot

sexyhalibut — Sun, 18 Mar 2007 04:33:13 +0000

OK, maybe I have a thing for Jews.

So sue me.

Owwie Ow Ow Ow

sexyhalibut — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 04:49:42 +0000

Just in case you were wondering, it is not, I repeat NOT a good idea to chop jalapeno peppers and then rub your eye.

Please, for the love of God, just take my word on this one.

Search engines: It DOES make a difference

sexyhalibut — Sat, 03 Mar 2007 06:40:32 +0000

Let’s say that you’re feeling horny. Oh come on, now, it’s not that much of a stretch.

And speaking of stretches, let’s say you’re in the mood for some kinky tantric yoga porn or something of the like.

And let’s just say, for the sake of conversation, that you decided to search for the term “yoga sexy ass”. Again, just for the sake of conversation. Seriously, humor me, here.

Where are you going to turn?

If you type that search into Yahoo!, you’re not going to find any hot kinky yoga porn on that first page. And, let’s face it, by the time you scroll through a whole page of results, you’re probably halfway done with that interest at that particular moment, anyway.

If you type that search into Google, the first three results are all likely to satisfy your most… flexible… fantasies. Not bad. Not bad at all. It seems that Google is the winner.

But wait! There’s more!

If you type that search into Microsoft Live Search (www.live.com), you get something that’s sure to bring you far more satisfaction than any quick spandex-inspired spooge. Right in the number one slot is, you guessed it, this site. Don’t believe me? Try for yourself.

Now, I’ve never been a big fan of Microsoft in the past, but it looks like they’re finally starting to get their shit together over there. Ballmer, Gates: take notes. It’s this kind of high-quality accurate search that’s going to shoot Live Search right to the top of the market.

Now, make the rest of your products act the same way. This website should be the default home page of Internet Explorer. The Windows key shouldn’t take people to the start menu. It should take them here. They’ll be happier here, anyway. Stop playing with those silly ribbons and talking paper clips, and make Microsoft Word have a whole toolbar for working with snippets of my posts.

I know it might seem unconventional, but let’s face it, your conventional strategies aren’t working like they used to. And Google sort-of has the market covered on the whole useful strategy. It’s time you got the balls to do something radically different. Microsoft, are you ready for the sexyhalibut-centric user experience?

By the way, probably the sickest part of this whole thing is that someone was actually searching for “yoga sexy ass” in the first place. Dude (or dudette), seriously, get a better fetish. If you need help with that, let me know in the comments. I’ve got some cool websites to send you to.

Also, thanks to WordPress.com for keeping track of my referrers and search terms. It really takes the hassle out of datamining for ways to insult my readership. You rock.

a lovely package for you…

sexyhalibut — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 22:42:13 +0000

Please click here.

And enjoy your nightmares.

ok, sickeningly cute, but still….

sexyhalibut — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 14:56:09 +0000

whose mood couldn’t be lifted a little by this?!

Sexyhalibut... My, what a lovely fin you have...